why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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