you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
