In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
