Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
