I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize