Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
