i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
