TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
