If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
