the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
