five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
