He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
