kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
