Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize