I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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