"it" just moved
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
