are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
