That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
