do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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