Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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