last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
