You made me cry and you don't even care
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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