only you would photoshop your dick
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
