The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
this hospital has no fireball
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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