All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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