I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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