What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
