to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
