no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
