He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize