If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
