I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
