I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You can't just leave with hair like that
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
