What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
