I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
we should paint friendship bongs
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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