Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Text me some of your sweat
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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