i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is my gift to your gina
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
