I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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