i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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