I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I can't put those talents on a resume
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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