Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
