she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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