He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
