I didn't shave. On purpose
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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