So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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