I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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