I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize