She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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