nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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