Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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