meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
