cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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