I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
