MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
