guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
