You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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