So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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