My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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