I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
