i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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