our cab driver is having phone sex.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize